I could read it all over her. The look in her eyes, the resigned way her shoulders were…she felt guilt for her grown up daughter. Her daughter uses and hurts people and then leaves a mess for others to clean up.
“What did I do? I must have been a horrible mother.” She can’t get past the fact that one of her children took a path that was full of hurt. It didn’t matter that three out of four of her kids turned out wonderfully. She focused on ‘that one’ that created negativity.
Isn’t that the way of it sometimes? We have so many experiences and people to feel appreciative of and yet ‘that one’ seems to stick out in our minds and hearts.
I asked her why she couldn’t focus on the positive adults her other children had grown up to be.
“They are okay. I feel as if I don’t have to worry about them and what they do. They seem to know the difference between rights and wrong when it comes to people but my other one, well, I want her to be happy. I want her to be happy with me. It hurts me that she won’t even talk to me and thinks that I am responsible for everything in her life. I want to make it right.”
I’ve heard this time and time again. Others taking on guilt of another’s actions. Maybe it isn’t up to us to ‘make it right.’ Maybe it is up to the person riding the rougher road to figure it out on their own? Maybe hanging on and doing all we can to help them is actually enabling them to continue to be on the path they are on? Maybe we are supposed to let go and let them learn without our help.
You see, letting go is not abandoning. Letting go is taking an experience that can’t seem to find an answer to or a rhyme or reason and letting it go so that all those ‘pent up’ vibrations release and no longer affect your days. This doesn’t mean that you are abandoning because you let go. Abandoning is when you cut off love, cut off everything, so that you don’t have to feel the experience any longer. Letting go is knowing that there is a solution, it will come to you all in the timing it should, and trusting the Universe to let it unfold. This way you can let go and keep living in a positive state of mind instead of holding on to what may be holding you back.
The choices that others make aren’t your fault. Their choices are their choices. It is when you become so wrapped up in what others do, think, and feel that creates a vibration in your life.
I think it’s a good day to let go, don’t you? How about sending out some good ol’ fashioned unconditional love instead of focusing on that person or experience. It will do wonders for your life…