Do you try to please others at the cost of yourself? Sometimes that feeling to please can be overwhelming and can push us to be someone that we’re not.  One of the hardest things to do in life is to be what others want us to be.
How about being ourselves and not worrying about whether someone accepts us for who we are?  You don’t ever want to not be you to please someone else. The only person that should have a say so in who you are…is you.

As a child, I was a pleaser.  I would do what I could to make sure that no one would get upset with me.  I was uncomfortable with any kind of confrontation or a sharpness in voice.  My dad had a huge booming voice and I knew he meant it so I steered clear of making anyone upset; that is…until my brother finally pushed me too far.

My brother and I are three years apart.  I was the youngest of four and he resented his little baby sister hanging around him.  We would lay on my mom’s lap…his head on one side, my head on the other, and we would push our heads against one another to see who would get ‘the whole’ of Mom’s lap. He always won because he definitely had the harder head of the two of us! ;)

He would give me arm burns, punch me when Mom wasn’t looking, and that was brother I wanted to be around no matter what.  His life seemed so interesting to me.  He was allowed to do all these things that I couldn’t do so I did everything I could to please him so I could hang out with him.

So on one of our vacations we were in the backseat.  Mom and Dad were up front. I was doing everything I could to make my brother like me.  I gave him my last candy piece, let him have the water jug first, and he still ignored me and when he wasn’t ignoring me he was giving me hidden pinches when Mom and Dad weren’t looking.  I was so confused.  I was supposed to love my brother.  I wanted to please him but he was so mean to me so I made a decision right then…

I leaned over and whispered, “You better not pinch me ever again!” I said in my strongest whisper.  He narrowed his eyes and whispered back, “What are you going to do about it?”

“Are you kids okay back there?” Mom said from the front.

I kept my mouth quiet and my brother said ever so politely, “Just fine, Mom!” My brother looked at me and got out his pincher fingers.  I didn’t know what I was going to do but I was going to do something. I gritted my teeth and whispered, “You better not pinch me.”

He leaned over…and pinched.

Big tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t believe it.  I had to do something so…I bit him…long and hard.  Tears were streaming from my eyes because I didn’t want to hurt my big brother but I knew I had to fight fire with fire. The look on his face, I can’t even describe.  He was shocked, proud of me, and in pain. He never pinched me again and he’s now fifty years old with a five-year-old little sister bite scar under his arm.

I still don’t understand why I wanted to please him so badly but I learned a great lesson…don’t try to please anyone who pinches! LOL

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